My psyche is deeply scarred and I can’t sleep. I blame it all on Saturday night television.
MJ turned on some horrible movie that was on Encore: Mystery channel, called Primeval. This is not to be confused with the upcoming BBC: America series called Primeval. I make a point of the distinction because we – that is MJ – made that error.
He was channel-surfing, looking for something “with a little more action than HGTV.” He ran across this movie listing and thought that it might be a feature-length movie that inspired the television series. I went along, because I thought, “Why not? A little Saturday night creature feature.” But no. It went from giant-rampaging-crocodile-menacing-African village to rampaging-African paramilitary death squads-hacking-burning-African villagers and the idiot Americans who came to rid them of the giant-rampaging-crocodile. I put up with it for about 90 minutes, after which I had a melt-down and said, “What was so attractive about this and why are we still watching it?!???!?”
So he changed the channel. And what did we wind up on? E’s Keeping Up With The Kardashians. (The Kardashian name came up in conversation the other day – I don’t remember the context – and MJ asked, “What’s a Kardashian?” understandably thinking along the lines of Star Trek: Deep Space 9 – hint: Cardassians) This was not an improvement, people. This “reality” show is about as low as we can go. I mean it. I used to have an enormous respect for Bruce Jenner. Okay, he’s a Republican. But overlooking that small flaw, he was a fine athlete – 1976 Olympic Decathlon Gold Medal – a role model, intelligent, and totally cute. How he can be associated with this televised cesspool, is completely beyond my comprehension. This abomination should crawl back into the primordial soup from whence it came and start over.
I want another shower.
