Green-Eyed Golem

Am I jealous? Well, if I’m going to be totally honest here – and where else would I be totally honest, if not here? I mean, that’s the whole point of my blogging (whether anyone reads it or not) – yeah, I guess I am. Jealous, that is (in case you lost the original thread of that sentence). Okay, I realize that it’s not the most attractive of the emotions.

My sister-in-law and her sister are going to be b’nai mitzvot (translation: having a joint bat mitzvah). I was half-heartedly quasi-invited to join them, since I never had one either, over a year ago. I said I’d think about it and they should let me know, but the subject never came up again until… I’m thinking here… mmmm… around… was it Passover? When it was a done-deal and they announced that it was going to happen on June 7th. I don’t know. I never really thought seriously about it.

My brother was bar mitzvahed when I was 7. It’s not that we were terribly religious, but we kept a kosher home, we (Big Bro and I) went to synagogue every Saturday morning and Sunday school until we were old enough to rebel and refuse. My parents sent me to a Jewish parochial school until the cost of sending my brother to college and the day school’s tuition became a prohibitive combination. Because of that background, when given the choice between having a Sweet Sixteen party or a Bat Mitzvah, I chose the Sweet Sixteen. After all, girls did not have bat mitzvahs. That was for boys.

But I wuz robbed. Cheated. My Sweet Sixteen was not the glamorous evening affair I thought I was going to have. Music and dancing and twinkle lights. It turned out to be a luncheon at a fish restaurant (have I ever told you that I hate fish?). All girls. Or should I say, mostly my mother’s poker-playing girlfriends and a few of my own friends. Except for my brother and his girlfriend (later wife). On a Sunday afternoon. Superbowl Sunday, as it turned out. Frankly, I was just as eager to get out of there as anyone else. (Point of reference: That was the infamous Heidi / Superbowl — if you’re a football fan of a certain age, I don’t need to explain) Anyway, this was not what I had in mind. My brother’s bar mitzvah had a sit-down luncheon after services and a big formal dinner party at night, with a band for the “adults”, and our favorite disc jockey from the local radio station rented to spin records all night for the “kids”. Hmmph. Okay, so I never got over it.

Even though they’re not planning an evening bash, when “the girls” announced their bat mitzvah, I was seized with jealousy. And an insane desire to – if not have my own (and it would be difficult to do so without looking like I was a copycat and trying to show them up) – well, show them up a bit – subtly. So, Miz Shoes, a fabric artist in her own right, is making me a fabulous tallis (prayer shawl) for the occasion. Do I need a tallis – really? Truth be told, No. That’s a guy thing, too. But, like bat mitzvahs, if girls are having them now, well girls have to have tallisim, too. I’ve gotten along quite well all these years without one, but now I want one. And it has to be cooler than hers. The prosaic one with matching yarmulke (come on!) from Israel that she picked up at the Judaica store. So mine has to be way cooler. Check this out:

This is the fabric and ribbon Miz Shoes chose for me. Isn’t it exquisite? I don’t know if you can see them, but there are elephants and giraffes, and all kinds of animals woven into that fabric. This is so me – don’t you think? Of course, she is the artist, and I bow to her oft-demonstrated senses of style and taste. If you require a one-of-a-kind, personally designed tallis for a bar/bat-mitzvah or other occasion, you should check out Miz Shoes and her Tante Leah Handmades. No, she didn’t pay me. In fact, I’m paying her. I just love her stuff. This will go beautifully with the Indian salwar kameez outfit I’m planning to wear. I’m so psyched.

And still a wee bit jealous.