The Juicing Fad is Dead. Eat Real Food: Ready-To-Go Muesli

 

I hereby unilaterally declare the “Juicing Fad” is dead.  No less venerable authorities than the Mayo Clinic and the American Cancer Society, not to mention umpteen thousands of registered dieticians (heretofore known as “the Food Police”) are saying that: (a) You’re not detoxing yourself on juice fasts (Me: You’re just using the facilities more); (b) there’s no evidence whatsoever that you absorb nutrients faster by drinking your fruits and veggies, because they’re broken down by digestion; (c) you’re probably spiking your blood sugar levels, which is particularly dangerous for diabetics; (d) it’s not a great plan to lose weight, because when you eliminate most or all of the fiber, you’re more likely to get hungrier faster and will start surreptitiously hitting the snack food. And the “green” juices? Just like StarSux coffee, if you have to add that much crap to be able choke it down, you’re just adding more calories. And it’s still going to taste like liquified lawn clippings. (Also me)

Unless your jaw is wired shut and the only way for you to get any nutrition is through a straw, it’s done. Period. End of sentence.  Fancy cooking stores: It’s time to dismantle the displays of shiny, overpriced blenders/juicers and juicing “cookbooks” (what an oxymoron! ) and relegate them to the Sale table in the back. Sorry, shiny-overpriced-blender/juicers.  See you in Daiquiri Season.

Rant over.

This Muesli was introduced to me in the 1980’s by the Swiss owner of the coffee shop in the office building I worked in, back then. Hans (I never knew his last name) swore by this particular concoction, and I admit that I was fairly addicted to it. Yogurt, oatmeal, a variety of fruit and nuts, you just mix up in a resealable container, refrigerate overnight, and spoon some out for breakfast, a light lunch, or snacks. It’s light eating but will stay with you all morning (or afternoon), without a let-down.  Here’s fuel to burn if you’re exercising, or just running the rat race.

This was breakfast, 5 days a week for nearly 5 years. When Hans sold the business, he finally parted with his recipe. I used to make it often, and then for some reason I stopped. Probably because it makes quite a lot, but it stays good in the fridge for at least a week.

Make sure you use a really big container or bowl – you’ll need the mixing room. Oh, okay. You can cut the recipe in half, too.

AmSwiss Muesli

Ingredients:

• 2 cups plain yogurt (or Greek-style yogurt)
• 1 cup milk
• 3 Tbs. lemon juice
• 2 cups old-fashioned oatmeal (uncooked) (Yes, Virginia, you can get gluten-free oatmeal! Who knew?)
• 2 large apples, unpeeled and shredded
• 1 cup seedless green grapes
• 1 cup seedless black or red grapes
• 2 bananas, peeled and sliced
• 1/2 cup chopped nuts (walnuts, pecans, or almonds – or any combination)

PLUS, in-season or frozen fruit in any combination, such as:

• 1 pound (or quart) strawberries, sliced (or 10 oz. frozen sliced strawberries)
• 2 dry pints blueberries (or 12 oz. frozen blueberries)
• peaches, mangos, cherries (without pits & chopped) – fresh or frozen, etc.
• Feel free to adjust the fruit combinations and quantities to your own taste

Preparation:

In a large bowl or resealable container, mix all ingredients together, thoroughly. Cover and refrigerate overnight before eating.  In a resealable container in the fridge, the muesli will keep for about a week.  If, in the morning, it seems too thick for your preference, add a little more milk. If a little liquid forms on top during storage, it’s just fruit juice – stir it back in. For even more variety, mix a spoonful of your favorite Freakin’ Flamingo jam (regular or sugar-free) into an individual serving!

Look! Real food for breakfast! Didn’t you miss it?