Rock ‘n Runway

Open on everyone pasting themselves together for another day. Now that it’s closer, Korto can smell Bryant Park. Guess they haven’t cleared out the trash, yet. Or maybe it’s Kenley’s attitude?

Leanne: “It would be really cool to have it be all girls, but Jerell is really talented, so he’ll just have to wear a wig. Maybe.”

Parsons.

Heidi tells the designers that they are going to “re-pick” their models. There are now 8 models and 5 designers, so 3 will have to go. Jerell, having won last week, has first pick and stays with Nicole.

Kenley chooses Topacio, Joe’s previous model. Leanne steals Tia. She loves Caroline but felt Tia is a real asset and that she gave Suede an advantage. This is a far more shrewd move than even Leanne knows, as we shall see soon enough.

“Suede is going to have to kill Leanne.” Kenley tells Leanne that she’s a heartbreaker. More like a ballbreaker. Oh, this is way more like it, people! Model theft! Finally, a little drama!

Suede takes Sefara, and Korto takes Katerina.

Workroom.

Tim: “I can count you all on one hand!”

In this challenge, they will be designing for each other. Oh, great! So after all the model drama, they don’t even get to use the freaking models! I’d like to know how this is a competition for the models, if they don’t even get to walk for most of the season.

Suede will design for Jerell. “Suede’s okay with this. I’m going to win and Suede’s getting Tia back!” Dreamer.

Kenley is designing for Leanne; Korto is designing for Suede; Jerell for Kenley; Leanne for Korto.

And there’s more! – they must each create for their “client” an outfit inspired by a specific musical genre and explore the relationship music has to fashion. This should be cool.

And the musical genre is assigned by button bag!

Kenley is Pop. She thinks pop is cheesy. So do I, but I’m liking it more and more at the moment.

Suede is Punk. Korto interviews that her fear was to make menswear.

Korto is Country. She rolls her eyes: “Just gets better and better and better.”

Leanne is Hip Hop and Jerell gets Rock ’n Roll.

They have one hour to meet. The budget is $150 and they have till 1:00 am to finish.

Korto consults with Suede on his rock look: “If you have anything along the way that you have problems with, I would prefer that you tell me to my face before Tim comes in, ‘cause I don’t want to have to snap on you in front of Tim.” Yes, ma’m.

Kenley asks Leanne what she would want to wear for hip hop, and Leanne says “Gangster.” Kenley: “I don’t want to make gangster.”

Leanne goes into a little rap – “If she’s designing an outfit for me, she better not make it look like 1950.” Don’t quit your day job. Oh, that’s right. You don’t really have one. Go ahead, smack me now.

Kenley says that “everyone is wearing high-waisted jeans right now and they’re awesome.” You know, I realize I’m kind of out of touch with much of today’s culture, but I am out in the world just about everyday, and I can’t think of any of the hip hop looks I see in the street that even come close to high-waisted jeans. I’m just sayin’. Yeah, some of the “stars” are wearing them, but you know, if pants aren’t your thing to start with, and you can go a different direction (like a mini-skirt with treatment, for instance), why would you go there?

Jerell tells Suede that he wants a big-ass high collar and a big cape. I think he’s kidding. Suede is worried that if he comes out with something 1980’s that Kiss would wear…well…

Jerell tells Kenley that he’s going to turn her into “Kenley Spears.” Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Leanne: “Korto is definitely not country.” Korto: “Can I have some cleavage?” “Sure.” Kenley, being her rude little self, barges over waving a pair of shoes, and interrupts Leanne and Korto, “Can you try these on?” Korto: “Your 30 minutes were up 30 minutes ago. “Come on, you can’t try these on?” “No. I’m gonna hip hop on you in a minute.”

Mood.

Tim: as the designers race by, “…and they’re off!”

Jerell: “I’m going to make Kenley into a little pop diva. Everything is going to be stretchy and netty and sparkly.” Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

Kenley has a bolt of some huge ugly-ass floral. Tim: “This is hip hop?” “Sure, it looks like graffiti.” “I don’t get the hip hop factor in the print.” “You’ll see it when it’s done.” “Um, okay.”

Workroom.

They have 12 hours.

Leanne says she wants Korto to look like she’s accepting an award at the Country Music Awards.

Kenley says that it’s her first time making pants on Project Runway. She makes dresses.

Korto: “We all know that floral blouse Kenley’s making ain’t hip hop – it’s damn near country. We’re not going to tell her – we’re just going to let her believe it’s hip hop.” Kenley: “It’ll probably look cute cropped, right?” Oh, please.

Jerell: “Kenley’s in a little bit of trouble. I don’t think there’s anything hip hop in Kenley’s little bag of dresses.”

Jerell is putting his little name sign on the mannequin wearing his winning design of last week and says: “Can I just get a ‘hip – hip – Jerell?’” Korto: “Really, Jerell, how much further do you want to drag this out?”

Jerell interviews that he would really love to win this challenge. Nobody has ever won 3 in a row. For good reason, judging by the size of your head, right about now.

Jerell is making a fishnet mini dress with diamond cups for Kenley. It is “super sexy and not 1954.” Kenley is aghast.

Well, here’s a surprise! “Suede is a classically trained cellist and pianist and definitely not punk rock.” Seriously, I never would have guessed! Maybe it’s the blue pointy hair?!? Suede asks Korto if she wants him to try anything, and she says she’s going to make it out of muslin first – “I’m no fool.” She interviews that she can not even think about going home. “If I have to claim it in the name of Jesus – I’m going to Bryant Park. I can’t think about anything else, I’m sorry.” I swear, if she starts throwing chicken bones and chanting Santeria shit, I’d be very very skerred.

Korto tries on the boots that go with Leanne’s design and suddenly, she’s Dolly Parton.

Jerell is having Kenley try on the dress he made her. “We’re going to see a whole new side of Kenley!” Kenley opines that this shows a lot more parts of her than she would want shown.

Tim does his walkabout.

Jerell – It’s a beautiful silhouette.

Leanne: Is it too subtle?

Korto: Are you doing enough? Looks very basic. Not punk enough.

Suede: Not ramped up enough. You can get away with nearly anything with rock. Suede is afraid of going too far.

Kenley: She sees a lot of hip hop artists are wearing leather jackets and high-waisted jeans. (Again, I ask: Who? Where?) Tim: “Isn’t hip hop oversized?” No, that’s 80’s hip hop!” (As opposed to what? 50’s hip hop? Hmmm. Black leather jacket, tank top, tight jeans… yup. Definitely 50’s hip hop. Or, as they called it back then, “greaser.”) “Okay.” “I know what you think. I’m not going to make her look stupid.” “Kenley, you need to listen. It will benefit you tremendously as a designer… It would help if you removed the sarcasm… you just think I’m being snarky.” Korto interviews: “Kenley comes off as being rude and she’s rude to Tim, and there’s a line you don’t cross. He’s to be respected.” Amen, Sista.

Kenley: “I can’t really listen to Tim at this point, and what does Tim know about hip hop, anyway? (I’m thinking, way more than you do.) Tim thought I was being sarcastic, but I don’t think he really understands me, and I don’t understand him. I definitely know more about hip hop than Tim does.” Hip hop – greaser – it’s all the same to Kenley.

It’s midnight.

Leanne is trying on the pants that Kenley made for her and there’s a “bunching” problem at the crotch. “You’re grabbing my crotch, Kenley,” as Kenley tries to get the fabric to smooth out by sheer force of will. “I don’t think it’s bad enough that they’ll notice.” Leanne: “If our outfit gets called out on the runway, I’m definitely not going to stick up for it. Especially not for someone like Kenley.” Yes, the claws are coming out!

Korto interviews, voice dripping with sarcasm, “Kenley is a hip hop designer… yep. I can – not – wait until tomorrow…” So say we all!

Korto: The denim for the outfit she’s making for Suede is too new, so she goes into the bathroom with a bottle of bleach and the denim pants and the shoes and starts dabbing it all over. Bleach fumes waft through the air. Leanne wonders if Korto is trying to sabotage them by making them inhale the bleach.

Suede: “Something in my gut says the judges are either going to hate this a lot or they’re really going to like it.” Something in my gut is heaving.

Jerell interviews that it has crossed his mind to sabotage Suede – it is a competition.

Kenley feels confident and really loves her outfit. She’s not changing anything about her design based on what Tim said. She thinks it really looks hip hop. “I really do.” I think it’s missing a pack of cigarettes in the sleeve. “I think I nailed it!” No, you didn’t. Will someone please take that fantasy hammer away from her, already?

Morning of the Runway.

Everyone is working away. They have an hour for their own hair and makeup.

Jerell: “Kenley is trying to stuff Leanne into this child-sized ‘hip hop’ outfit…. Oh, yeah, it’s great!” Kenley holds up some earrings: “Hip hop, Jerell?” “Oh, yeah – hip hop.” Korto rolls her eyes.

Jerell: “I’ll let Kenley destroy herself.” I need some evil laughter here. It would also help if Jerell had a moustache to twirl. Props!

Kenley: “Do I look like Britney Spears? The good years?”

Tim: “This will be the most unique show ever on Project Runway.” Meh. They ain’t no drag queens.

Runway:

LL Cool J is the guest judge. Oh, Kenley is in deep shit!

Kenley: “Oh, shit! I got hip hop, and there’s the king of hip hop!”

LL thinks Korto’s Punk look for Suede has a lot of energy.True to his word, Jerell (a former model, let’s not forget!) schlumps down the runway in the “Rock ‘n Roll” look Suede made for him. Suede said he wanted to make something that would be comfortable on stage then transition to the party afterward. Suddenly he’s the Prince of Day-To-Evening. MK: the pants are “expected.” Needed more drama. Heidi: “Do you know who Jerell looks like? Jerell!” At least he’s not wearing a bunch of eucalyptus leaves on his head. Jerell’s Pop look for Kenley: You know, out of everything Jerell has made this season, this is actually my favorite – Jerell says he was going for a Britney Spears/Pussycat Dolls look. Nina thinks she looks like Britney as a brunette. Looks sexy but not vulgar. See, Kenley, this is what “nailed it” looks like.Kenley – She believes that she has designed Hip Hop for Leanne in a “classy and expensive sort of way.” Heidi – Those are really unflattering pants. Does this read “hip hop” to LL? No. Kenley is exasperated. “I could make something luxurious in a few days not one day.” Nina tells her that “everybody’s was hard.” I say, Shut up and quit sassing your betters, bitch!Judges.

So, how do we think they did? Mixed – The hair and makeup helped, but the designs were a little spotty.

Leanne – Needed more “country”. Too subtle. MK: “… a little too much like a woman going out to eat ribs.” A little thoughtless stereotyping there, MK? I think you probably could have come up with a slightly less insensitive analogy, no?
Jerrell – Everyone knew it was pop right away. Love.

Korto – Very cool punk style, jeans fit very well. She nailed that outfit. (See, Kenley? Another example of what “nailed it” looks like. Pay attention.) Suede – Looks like rock ‘n roll going to the grocery store. Too safe. Needed to be “explosive”.

Kenley – Looked like something you’d buy in a mall. Really unattractive jeans. LL thinks they look like “Mom” jeans. The judges think that Kenley was freaked out by this challenge – they were “taking her out of her 50’s prom dress.”

The decision.

The Winner: Korto – finally! She’s so happy – not only did she do a punk outfit, but she did menswear! I am not unhappy. But I still think Jerell should have taken this one – again, I’m betting they just don’t want anyone to win 3 in a row.

However, Jerell is in. Leanne is in. Now, it’s down to Suede and Kenley.

Suede – played it safe. Could have turned up the volume but gave them silence.

Kenley – no glamour, no bravado, missed the attitude of hip hop completely.

Kenley is in (dammit!) – Suede is auf’d!

“I made it to the Top 5 . I can’t be disappointed when I gave it my all… Madonna, I’m ready to dress you up in Suede!” Barf.

Next week: Everyone has a simultaneous nervous breakdown – Looks like fun!