Many of you have been telling me that you’re using Freakin’ Flamingo jams and marmalades in ways that have nothing to do with toast, but that’s no surprise to me – I’m doing the same. Today, I mixed some of my Piña Colada Jam (part of “The Cabana Collection“) into muffin batter, and ended up with a light, sweet muffin that’s just full of tropical flavor. Perfect for breakfast, snack time, or even dessert!

I’m also guest-posting over at Restless Chipotle! Many of you know the fabulous and talented Marye Audet. She’s one of my great friends – always ready with support and a good word – so when she asked me to give her a day off, I was more than delighted to help out. So, please stop by and check out the Piña Colada Chicken I cooked up, just for her! And you!

But, I’m taking these babies to the Miami Food Swap tonight!

Piña Colada Muffins
(makes 14 regular/small – not mini – muffins)

Ingredients:

3 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
3 large eggs
1 tsp. vanilla extract
4 Tbs. Freakin’ Flamingo Piña Colada Jam
1 cup sugar
1 cup vegetable oil (I used canola)
1 cup pineapple juice

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 375º F. Prepare regular-sized muffin tin by inserting cupcake liners or by spraying lightly with cooking spray (if using good non-stick pan, you can skip this step).

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. In a medium bowl, whisk together all the rest of the ingredients.

Pour the wet ingredients into the dry, and stir by hand to combine well.

Fill each muffin cup nearly to the top and bake for 17 – 20 minutes. They’re done when a wooden skewer or toothpick poked into the center comes out clean.

Have you been playing with your Freakin’ Flamingo? If you have, drop me a line at FreakinFlamingo @ att{dot}net! Include a photo and the recipe or link to your recipe, and I’ll feature it in the Freakin’ Flamingo Newsletter!

Sign up for the Freakin’ Flamingo Newsletter and get lots of perks at the website, in person when I’m at the South Miami Farmers Market, and links to recipes, just like this!

Now go visit me at Restless Chipotle!

Why is it that no one can agree on the proper boiling of an egg? I know. You think I’m kidding. You think I’m grasping for a topic to write about, don’t you? Well, maybe Guilty on Count 2, but I’m really not kidding.

Too many people think you can just plop an egg into a pot of water, boil it to death, and then wail because the whites are the consistency of overenthusiastic breast implants and the yolks are wearing army-issue olive drab coats. From World War I.

Others make the boiling of an egg sound like it’s culinary alchemy – an arcane set of spells and enchantments to master. Only achievable when the Harvest Moon is in the 16th hour of waning. Or is that, waxing?

I bring this up now, because the Jewish holiday of Passover begins the evening of April 18th. For most of us of Ashkenazic European descent (I confess ignorance of Sephardic traditions), the Seder dinner will commence with eating a hardcooked egg in salt water. And from what I’ve seen over the years, many people (including my own mother) can’t boil an egg to save their lives. And they don’t care. It’s a throwaway. A necessary tradition to get through and then get on with the real meal. Okay, maybe that’s a touch harsh. But only a touch.

You know what you really need to hard boil an egg perfectly every time? A kitchen timer and some ice. Oh, and the eggs, of course.

So now, a Primer on the Perfect Hard Boiled Egg:

First rule: This is one case when you don’t want the absolutely freshest ingredients. Buy the eggs ahead of time, and let them sit in the fridge for at least a few days before cooking them.

Place the raw eggs in a saucepan in a single layer. Preferably with a bit of room to move around. Add cool tap water to the pan to just cover the eggs, followed by a hefty pinch of salt. Place the pan on an appropriately-sized burner and turn the heat to high.

Immediately set a kitchen timer to 18 minutes.

When the eggs have just a couple of minutes left on the timer, fill a large measuring cup or a bowl with ice and set it next to the sink.

Immediately at the 18 minute mark (do not pass Go, do not collect $200), remove the pan from the heat and drain. Shake the eggs around in the pan a bit so that they crack, and dump the ice on top of them, then fill the pan with cool tap water.

Allow to sit for only a couple of minutes before peeling under the cool water in the pan. You’ll find that they’ll peel more easily (and pretty) when they’re still warm, than if you wait until they’re completely cold.

Note that you cook them the same way and for the same amount of time no matter the quantity. The time and rules remain the same, whether you’re cooking two eggs or a dozen.

See? Perfectly hard boiled egg: Bright, fluffy yellow yolk, no green ring, and the white is tender enough to cut with a fork.

Now you’re ready for the first course. Or deviled eggs. Or tuna salad (that’s what I’m making in this photo). Or any other application. Rubber eggs, begone!

I love egg rolls. Crispy on the outside, tender and crunchy on the inside. And while I’m not vegetarian, I don’t eat pork or seafood, and it’s impossible to find a veggie egg roll when we have the occasional take-out Chinese food for dinner. And while I can occasionally find them in the kosher freezer section of my grocery, they’re generally all cabbage and flavorless. I always intended to try making them at home – bought the wrappers and watched them slowly shrink in my fridge until they became dried up squares of pasta, beyond redemption. Sad, really.

Then, my husband decided to design a board game on China, and invited several couples over to play-test. So when Chris of Blog Well Done and Elle of Elle’s New England Kitchen announced the theme of this edition of #GoJunkFood would be Egg Rolls, it seemed like the time had finally come. I could delay no longer.

And just to make the experience even more intimidating? One of our guests that evening was Hong Kong-born Eleanor Hoh, another Miami food blogger and wok-cooking instructor. Do I know how to put the pressure on myself, or what? And despite that, I cheated anyway. You’ll see.

Vegetarian Egg Rolls
(makes about 16 egg rolls)

Ingredients:

Sauce:

2 Tbs. soy sauce or tamari
2 Tbs. corn starch
2 Tbs. hoisin sauce
1/8 tsp. ground white pepper
2 tsp. sugar
1 tsp. sriracha or other hot sauce (optional)

Filling:

1 14 oz. package fresh coleslaw mix
8 oz. baby portobello mushrooms (or your choice)
1 8 oz. can water chestnuts, drained
2 or 3 scallions (green onions)

1 16 oz. package egg roll wrappers
1 egg, beaten
Oil for frying

Preparation:

Mix the sauce ingredients together in a small bowl or measuring cup and set aside

Run the mushrooms through a food processor until finely chopped (or you can do it by hand if you’re more patient than I am). Set aside. Repeat with the drained water chestnuts. Slice the scallions thinly (both green and white parts). Set aside.

Heat about a tablespoon of oil in a wok or large frying pan over medium-high heat. Add the coleslaw mix and stir-fry for about 2 minutes, or until the cabbage just begins to wilt.

Add the mushrooms with the sauce to the pan, combine well, and stir-fry for another 2 minutes. Turn off the heat and add the water chestnuts and scallions. Stir to combine well. Allow filling to cool to room temperature.

For each egg roll, lay out one of the egg roll wrappers so that it appears diamond-shaped when facing you. Brush some of the beaten egg along the edges of the upper half of the diamond. Place about 2 heaping tablespoons of the filling on the lower half of the diamond, below the two widest points. Take the point closest to you, bring it over the filling, and tuck it under the filling, tautly. Roll up to the widest points, fold them in over the ends of package and continue to roll all the way up. Make sure that the outer edges are sealed firmly. Repeat with each egg roll.

If you have a deep-fryer, heat the oil to 350º F and fry the egg rolls, no more than 4 at a time, until they’re golden brown, turning once. This won’t take more than 2-3 minutes, so look sharp!

I don’t have a deep-fryer, so I used my large frying pan, into which I poured about 2 inches of oil, heated to 350º F and proceeded the same way.

Serve with Chinese hot mustard, duck sauce, or my favorite dipping sauces – Oxford Falls Three-Pepper Peach Sauce or Cherry Chipotle Sauce.

Notes:

In case you’re wondering, Eleanor ate 2 of these, so I’m taking that as a seal of approval. Either that, or she was just starving after sitting in traffic for over an hour to get to my house.

These are super if you have a time crunch and need to make them ahead of time. Just allow them to cool, throw ‘em in a freezer storage bag, and freeze. To reheat, preheat your oven to 375º F and put the frozen egg rolls on a parchment-lined or foil-lined baking sheet. Bake for about 20-25 minutes.

A bunch of other folks are also making egg rolls this weekend in their own unique ways. To find out who, search the hashtag #GoJunkFood

Didn’t your mother teach you about hygiene, people? If you don’t take that stinky garbage out, see what you’ll have to deal with? Maggots! Eeewwww! Heeheehee!

This is one of my favorite variations of the “Krispy Treat”, just about as easy to make, and sure to be a hit with kids of all ages. Today’s creepy entry for the #GreatHallowTweet is

Maggot Balls

Ingredients:

4 Tbs. butter
1 10.5 oz. bag of mini-marshmallows
2 Tbs. corn syrup
1/2 tsp. clear vanilla
5 cups puffed rice cereal (not crispy rice)
vegetable oil

Special equipment: latex or nitrile gloves

Preparation:

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or wax paper, set aside, and pour some of the vegetable oil in a dish, and set that aside, too.

In a large saucepan, melt the butter over medium-low heat. Add the mini-marshmallows and stir. As the marshmallows begin to melt, add the corn syrup, and continue to stir until the marshmallows are almost completely melted. Remove from heat and stir in the vanilla. Stir in the puffed rice cereal until completely combined.

Okay, you really don’t need the gloves, but you’ll thank me if you put them on right now. Now, coat your hands in the vegetable oil, grab a hunk of the cereal-marshmallow mixture, and roll it into a ball, compacting it with your hands as you roll, and set aside on the parchment paper. Repeat with the rest of the mixture. Allow the maggot balls to set for several hours before serving.

You can make the balls as large or small as you like. I made several different sizes and got 14. Serve in a “trash pail” lined with a brown paper bag.

Don’t they look just like maggots? Yes, I know… and I’ll be getting myself checked – right after Halloween!

Now, go over to that bright orange sidebar to the right, and see what creepy, strange and FUN Tricks and Treats my #GreatHallowTweet crones… er… cronies are up to!

For this edition of #GoJunkFood, the Twitterverse decided that we would take on Hot Wings. And what goes better with friends getting together to watch a game on TV than wings, people? With an orange juice base, freshly ground chipotle chile powder, and Washington State buckwheat honey, I put together a sweet, hot, and sticky concoction that’s a fusion of Southeast, Southwest, and Northwest that’ll get the party started in your mouth!

Chipotle Orange Hot Wings

For the Sauce:

4 Tbs. butter or margarine (I used Smart Balance Light spread)
3 tsp. minced garlic (about 3 large cloves)
1/4 tsp. kosher salt
4 tsp. chipotle chili powder
2 cups orange juice
3 Tbs. honey

In a medium saucepan, melt the butter or margarine over medium-high heat. Add the garlic and salt and cook until the garlic appears to soften a bit (about 3-4 minutes). Add the chipotle chili powder and cook for a few seconds, then add the orange juice. Mix well and bring to a boil.

Reduce the heat to medium and, stirring occasionally, simmer till the sauce reduces to nearly half. This should take about 15-20 minutes.

Add the honey and simmer for an additional 5 minutes.

For the Chicken:

1-1/2 lbs. skinless, boneless chicken breasts
1 cup rice flour
1 tsp. kosher salt
1 tsp. chipotle chile powder

1/2 cup peanut or canola oil for frying

Cut the chicken into 1-inch wide pieces, crossways. Place all the dry ingredients into a one gallon-sized zip-top bag and mix well. Toss the chicken pieces in the dredge, zip the bag closed, and toss until completely coated.

Heat the oil in a large frying pan. With a pair of long tongs, take the chicken pieces out of the bag, one by one, shake off the excess flour, and drop into the hot oil. Don’t crowd the pan – you will probably have to do this step in two batches.

Fry the chicken until lightly golden on both sides. This should take about 5 minutes per side – maybe even a little less. It cooks pretty quickly – since there’s no skin or bones here, you don’t want the meat to dry out. If you’re using real wings, cook a little longer. Lay the fried chicken pieces on a paper towel-lined plate until they’re all cooked.

To Assemble:

Put the cooked chicken in a large bowl, pour the sauce over, and toss till every piece is completely coated. Serve with the traditional celery sticks and blue cheese or ranch dressing on the side for dipping.

*Notes:

This version is “boneless wings”, in that I couldn’t locate any kosher chicken wings (What’re you doing with all those wings, Empire? I used to be able to find bags of wings in my grocer’s freezer!). I cut up boneless, skinless chicken cutlets, so I guess they’re just a tad healthier, and they definitely fry up a lot faster than traditional wings. But whether you use wings or go boneless, the sauce is definitely the key.

Depending on your heat tolerance, this sauce is not painful-burn-your-mouth hot. I was going for a balance of heat and sweet, and really wanted the flavor of the chipotle to shine. If you want to go hotter, add more chili powder, but taste it first.

I used buckwheat honey here because its dark, smoky flavor enhances the smoky chipotle beautifully. If you don’t have buckwheat honey, try to use a darker variety available where you live. If I had wanted to accent the orange juice more, I would have used a lighter orange blossom honey. What can I say – I’ve become a honey freak lately, and I just love the flavor variations between the different types. Experiment! See what’s available in your area and try it all!

Speaking of trying it all, here are the rest of the #GoJunkFood bloggers – see what they’ve cooked up for you, too!

Chris at Blog Well Done
Elle at Elle’s New England Kitchen
Paula at The Dragon’s Kitchen
Heather at He Cooks, She Cooks
Judy at No Fear Entertaining

What’s next? Who knows – but it’ll be tasty!

Mummy Dogs have become kind of a Halloween tradition in our house for the past several years. Tradition? Hahahahaha! Anyway…

They’re ridiculously easy to make and are a fun, quick holiday-inspired food to give the kids while they’re champing at the bit to start Trick or Treating. At least it isn’t sugar! Adults love them, too, and if you’re having a party, this twisted version of “pigs in a blanket” is sure to be a hit! I really hesitate to call this a “recipe”, but here’s what you’ll need:

One or more packages of your favorite hot dogs (depending on how many you’re feeding)

Puff pastry, or a tube of refrigerated crescent roll dough (figure one sheet or one tube per package of hot dogs)

Mustard

Preheat oven according to packaged dough directions; for puff pastry, preheat to 400º.

Remove the hot dogs from the package and dry completely. If serving little ones or for a party, cut them in half, across the middle.

On a lightly floured surface, lay out the pastry dough in a rectangle. With a knife or bench scraper, cut the dough into strips about 1/2 inch wide.

Starting at the end that will be the head, wrap each hot dog in a pastry strip, leaving a gap for the face. When you reach the “feet”, continue wrapping back up toward the head. If the dough strip tears, just stick it back on – hey! we’re making mummies here! They’re supposed to be a little raggedy!

Place the mummy dogs on a baking sheet and bake for 15-20 minutes. After baking, take a toothpick, dip it in some mustard and dot on little faces. Arrange on a plate and serve with dishes of pus (mustard) and blood (ketchup) on the side for dipping.

Okay, seriously? This is a prime example of why I’ll never be a food stylist. Don’t use my serving suggestion in the photo. It was a really bad idea, but I couldn’t re-shoot because we were hungry and ate them.

Enjoy!