Happy Pie Day! All across the internet and all over the world, bakers of every stripe and every level of proficiency decided to bake pies and illustrate the origins of the expression, “It’s as easy as Pie.” It’s a Pie Party, y’all!

I decided early on to bake a traditional Key Lime Pie for the 4th of July. Key Lime is, after all, the State Pie of Florida. (I will say that my addition of the mango was purely an act of whimsy on my part. Because I have them. And their light sweetness works as a tasty counterpoint to the sweet/tart Key Lime filling.) Who is Boswell, you ask? More about him, later.

So then, what is “traditional”? Let’s have a bit of history:

No one really knows who created the Key Lime Pie. What is not in dispute, however, is that it was created in Key West, Florida and that it’s linked to the appearance of sweetened condensed milk back in the late 1860′s, as Key West was pretty much out of the fresh milk distribution loop and had limited, if any, refrigeration.

As to the ubiquitous graham cracker crust: “Some sources assert [Sylvester] Graham himself invented the snack in 1829; others claim the graham cracker did not come into being until 1882, 31 years after Graham’s death. (The latter date appears to be based on the year recipes for graham crackers started appearing in cookbooks. Many bakers tried to market the crackers, but it wasn’t until 1898 that the National Biscuit Company (now Nabisco) made any real inroads into the market with their Nabisco Graham Crackers product. Nabisco achieved even greater success with their Honey Maid line, introduced in 1925, which boosted the original graham flavor through the addition of honey. (Snopes.com: Last updated: 20 May 2011 Urban Legends Reference Pages © 1995-2011 by Barbara and David P. Mikkelson.)

With supply lines at the time being what they were, and seeing as the first published recipe for the pie didn’t appear until the 1930′s, I don’t believe that the graham cracker made it’s appearance as the crust for Key Lime pie until the late 1920′s, at the earliest. In my opinion, the original crust medium was more likely the soda cracker, an unsalted version of the saltine.

The filled pie can be either unbaked and just refrigerated, as the acid from the Key Lime juice “cooks” the egg yolks (much as the citrus juice in ceviche “cooks” the fish). If you’re a little iffy about such things or have a compromised immune system, you may use pasteurized eggs (such as Davidson’s Safest Choice which are pasteurized in the shell, and an excellent product), or you may bake the pie briefly, as I’ve done here.

Let’s get this straight, once and for all:

1) Real Key Lime Pie filling contains only three things: egg yolks, sweetened condensed milk, and Key Lime juice. Nothing more. You want to fold in whipped cream? Awesome. But that makes it a chiffon pie. Or a mousse pie.

2) Only Key Lime juice is used for Key Lime Pie. Not regular Persian limes. Not bottled regular lime juice. Key Lime juice. Otherwise, it’s a Lime Pie and not Key Lime Pie. There is no substitute.

3) Real Key Lime Pie is topped with meringue, not whipped cream. I don’t care what King Arthur says. They got the date wrong on the invention of sweetened condensed milk, so what else did their source get wrong. (And what the hell is the addition of lime oil all about?!? No, ma’am. That is not a Key Lime Pie.)

4) Key Lime Pie is never, ever, EVER bright green. Period.

Climbing off my soap box (or should that be lime box) now…

Boswell’s Key Lime Mango Pie

Ingredients:

For the Crust:

18 2-cracker sheets soda crackers
2 Tbs. natural cane sugar (may substitute white sugar)
1/3 cup butter, melted

For the Filling:

5 large egg yolks (reserve the whites for the meringue topping)
1 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup Key Lime juice (bottled or fresh from apprx. 14 Key Limes)
1 fresh mango (preferably a fiberless variety such as Nam Doc Mai), peeled and sliced
into 11 or 12 thin slices

For the Meringue:

5 large egg whites
1/4 tsp. cream of tartar
6 Tbs. natural cane sugar (may substitute white sugar)
1/2 tsp. clear vanilla extract

Preparation:

Crust: Preheat oven to 350ºF.

In the bowl of a food processor, grind the crackers together with the sugar until very fine. Add the melted butter and pulse until everything is uniformly combined and resembles very wet sand.

Press the cracker mixture into a 9-inch pie plate, using a flat-bottomed drinking glass or measuring cup – or alternatively, with your hands – until the crust is firmly and evenly spread across the bottom and up the sides of the pie plate. Bake for 15 minutes or until it’s a light golden brown. Cool on a wire rack.

Filling: In a medium bowl, beat the egg yolks with an electric mixer at high speed until they are very, very pale and thick. Once you think you’re done, beat them some more. This could take 5 or 6 minutes.

Add the sweetened condensed milk and beat on medium speed until it’s completely incorporated. Add the lime juice and beat until it has been completely incorporated.

Pour the filling into the baked crust. Bake for 10-12 minutes. The filling should be set, but still jiggle a bit when you gently give the pan a shake. Cool on a wire rack, then refrigerate for a minimum of 2 hours or overnight.

When the filling is completely firm, arrange the mango slices on top of it.

Meringue:

Preheat the oven to 375ºF.

Beat the room temperature egg whites together with the cream of tartar on high speed, until very foamy. Slowly add the sugar, then the vanilla extract, while continuing to beat on high, until stiff peaks have formed.

Top the pie with the meringue, using whatever method suits you – pipe, spoon & swirl, mound, whatever. The only important things are: (1) The meringue should be even; and (2) The meringue must completely cover the pie to the edges, making a seal. Otherwise it could shrink away during baking.

Bake for about 15 – 20 minutes, or until the meringue has achieved your desired level of golden brown. If you’ve made lovely peaks, bake only until the tips of your peaks have browned.

Refrigerate the baked pie, and keep it refrigerated until serving time. Otherwise, your slices will look as sloppy as mine, below.

Now, what makes this “Boswell’s Key Lime Mango Pie”? Meet Boswell:

Boswell is a Jack Russell Terrier, belonging to some good friends of ours. He was present (along with the two dogs belonging to our 4th of July party hosts) when we arrived, bearing a large canvas carry-all which contained our food contributions to the party. Including the (thankfully, well-wrapped) Key Lime Mango Pie. If you are unfamiliar with Jack Russell Terriers, let’s just say that they’re one of the more -ahem!- enthusiastic breeds of canines.

The dogs, of course, were the first to greet us at the door. Boswell, being the smallest of the three, leaped on top of the carry-all (to get our attention, presumably), and when yelled at, did what a well-trained dog does: Sat. On my pie.

“It looks so much better this way. Don’t you think?”

Hope you had a Fabulous Fourth of July – Ours was a Blast!

Six days down and two to go. The eight-day Passover holiday is nearly over and we’ve run through our cookies and our brownies and our sponge cakes. Time to make macaroons. I grew up thinking of macaroons (as opposed to the French macaron) as Passover cookies. My mother would buy a couple of cans of macaroons (one coconut, one chocolate… and yes, I said cans) every year with her Passover groceries. Even today, when the Passover food displays appear in the grocery store, the predominant sweet lining the shelves is macaroons. And then — they disappear. Poof!

There’s no rational reason for that, of course. Macaroons can be enjoyed all year-round, and flavored to suit your tastes and the season. They’re also entirely gluten-free. My adult tastebuds were asking for something a little different, this year – a little fresher and less cloying. My eyes landed on a pile of fresh limes I’d just bought, and I thought, “Aha! What’s a more natural pairing with coconut, than lime?” And so, the Coconut Lime Macaroon was born:

Coconut Lime Macaroons
(Makes 20-24 large-ish cookies)

Ingredients:

4 large egg whites
pinch of salt
1-1/4 cups sugar
8 oz. (by weight) fine almond meal
7 oz. (by weight) unsweetened dried coconut
Grated zest and juice of 1 large (or 2 smaller) limes

Preparation:

Preheat the oven to 350º F. Prepare 2 cookie sheets by either lining with parchment paper or silicone liners.

In a large glass or metal bowl, beat the egg whites and salt until stiff. While continuing to beat, add the sugar in 4 parts.

Fold in the almond meal, coconut, and lime zest and juice, continuing to fold until everything is completely incorporated. There should be no streaks of whites and you should have a very thick, scoopable batter.

Mound by tablespoonfuls (I used a scoop 2” across) onto the prepared pans, about 1/2″ apart, and bake for 18-20 minutes.

Allow to cool completely on the pans.

Notes:

If you can’t find unsweetened dried coconut (got mine at Whole Foods in the nut/snack aisle), you can use the usual sweetened coconut that you find in the baking section of your grocery store. Just reduce the sugar to between 3/4 cup – 1 cup. I think this makes the macaroons less cloyingly sweet and you don’t have big shreds of coconut to deal with. Your choice.

No almond meal? Just weigh out 8 oz. of blanched almonds and run them through the food processor until they’re finally ground. No need to sift as you might for French macarons.

The lime really enhances the flavor of the almond and coconut, while at the same time cutting the sweetness a bit and adding a fresh note.

These Coconut Lime Macaroons are such a hit around here (my husband said they were the best I’ve ever made), that I’m adding them to the roster of treats I’m making for our National Food Bloggers Bake Sale, benefiting Share Our Strength / No Kid Hungry.

If you’re in the South Florida / Miami area on May 14th, I hope you’ll come out and join me and our roster of fabulous South Florida food bloggers and baking talent, at Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden – one of my favorite spots on Earth! We’ll have wonderful treats, both sweet and savory, and an incredible Raffle – all to raise money to feed hungry children here in the U.S. Click here to get more information or to donate.

So, what’s new, you ask?

Here’s the thing. I fell in love with canning and, as it turns out, I’m pretty darned good at it. I decided (with the support of my husband, who also thinks I’m pretty darned good at it) that I’m going into business to sell my jams, marmalades, and assorted other products I’ve been canning. I’m incorporated (LLC), having my logo trademarked, and even have a bank account! The name?

Freakin’ Flamingo.

That’s me – all over. (Thanks, Barb.) I’m working on a retail website right now which, when it’s ready, will be found at FreakinFlamingo.com. But not yet. Soon. I’ll let you know.

You may find this strange, but I want to keep this small scale. Really small scale. The basic premise is that my stuff is not only hand-crafted and small-batch, it’s micro-batch. Everything is prepared and canned during it’s proper season (usually local, or as local as I can get it), and no more than about a dozen half-pints or pints at a time, and with my own South Florida twist. I’ll be offering it to you as it’s prepared, and when it’s gone, it’s gone. Until next season. At my whim, or if you demand it. As I like to say, you never know what you’ll find until I cook it up and write it down.

So, why am I telling you this now?

Because it’s the holidays, I wanted to do a turn on the iconic cranberry sauce. I found myself inspired by tweets from my friend Maria (@ViceQueenMaria on Twitter), who as it turns out, kinda lives in my ‘hood. Maria’s been doing a lot of traveling around Florida lately, and has kind of gotten into the coastal and Caribbean pirate culture.

I got to thinking about my favorite pirate, Ann Bonny. Yes, there were female pirates, boys and girls, and she was one of the best. What would Ann Bonny do? Well, you know, after she got out of pirate prison, got married, and had a bazillion kids. She’d infuse those whole cranberries (acquired on a daring New England coastal raid, no doubt) with lots of limes and just a tot of Jamaican spiced rum. I present to you my first offering:

Ann Bonny’s Pirate’s Reserve Caribbean Cranberry

Half-Pints $8.00 each plus shipping
(5 available)

Perfect with your holiday turkey, pork, chicken, and equally delicious on toast or English muffins.

Blueberry Mojito Jam

Half-Pints $8.00 each plus shipping
(6 available)

Feeling a little chilly? Imagine yourself on a sunny, warm Caribbean beach, sipping Mojitos in the middle of January. Well, this Florida blueberry jam, infused with lime, a hint of mint, and the merest suggestion of rum, might not get you there, but if you close your eyes…

Carambola Honey Jam. Carambola, also known as Starfruit, is a crisp and sweet-tart tropical fruit that is usually only seen as a garnish. I used locally-sourced carambola and local wildflower honey to make this a treat you’ll want to spread on toast, stir into yogurt, and spoon onto everything in sight!

Carambola Honey Jam

Half-Pints $8.00 each plus shipping
(1 available)

See the Freakin’ Flamingo Facebook page for more flavors. All are half-pints and are priced at $8.00 per jar.

Um, want some?

**NOTICE**

This is totally embarrassing, but these stupid PayPal links aren’t working. Again. If you’re interested in ordering jam, please e-mail me at: FreakinFlamingo@att.net. I will be more than happy to accommodate you. So sorry for the inconvenience, but hopefully, the web site will go live soon – watch this space!

For me, the main reason to live in South Florida is the ability go out in the winter and early spring to the local U-Pick fields to do our produce shopping. The downside to that is, it never fails that our eyes are bigger than our plans and we wind up picking too much. After all, as you know, there’s nothing better than a tomato, or other veggie, picked and eaten the same day – preferably, the same hour – but then what?

I’ve always been intrigued by the concept of long-term food preservation – that is, boiling water canning, but it scared me to death! What if something goes wrong? What if I poison myself, or G-d forbid, someone else?!? I’ve owned books on the subject for years, but never actually dared to try it. The whole process seemed so, well, arcane.

Then the stars aligned in the heavens. First, MJ showed me all this canning equipment in some folksy holiday catalog, and with my hesitant consent, ordered a funnel, a jar lifter, and a lid rack to hold the lids while sterilizing. Purely by coincidence, almost immediately after that, Michelle of Big Black Dog asked if I was going to participate in Tigress’ Can Jam. After some persuasion (and knowing I had this pile of stuff coming), I agreed, and at literally the last possible moment, I asked Tigress if I could join. With that, I have officially joined the ranks of the “Canners”!

Once a month, someone will pick (you’ll excuse the expression) a theme produce item that’s in season and/or generally available locally, and all the participants will choose a canning recipe appropriate to the selected produce. This month, citrus is in season, and that’s our assignment. Well, hello! I live in Florida, you know – that’s a gimme!

Ever holding to the principle that “more is better”, I made two different marmalades.

The first recipe I tried seemed pretty simple – Ruby Red Grapefruit Marmalade out of The Complete Book of Year-Round Small Batch Preserving by Ellie Topp and Margaret Howard. Easy enough: Zest the grapefruit and a lemon, boil the zest, remove the bitter white pith, throw it in the food processor, boil some more, etc. But they never mention anything about the inner membranes, so I took it upon myself to filet them (I think the right phrase is something like “cut supremes”, but believe me when I tell you that there was nothing “supreme” about The Great Grapefruit Massacre of 2010!). Here’s the end result:

Flavor-wise, I think it turned out a little strong. Despite my careful zesting & fileting, it’s still got an “edge” to it that needs some moderation. On buttered toast, totally yummy. Even better with cream cheese!

But there was one other recipe in Small Batch Preserving that intrigued me, the Five Fruit Marmalade. Lemon, lime, orange, tangerine, and grapefruit. But again, there was all that zest this, but not that. Boil the piths with the zest, but don’t use the lime pith. Fish out all the pith and… well, you get it. I don’t have that kind of concentration. I knew I was going to screw something up.

As luck would have it, one evening I caught an episode of Good Eats on Food Network. Guess what old Alton was talking about. C’mon, guess! Preserving! He was making orange marmalade! And he wasn’t zesting and pithing and chopping – he was using a mandoline! What if I could adapt this recipe to his method? Hmmm….

So, I pulled out the old cut-glove and the little hand-held slicer I gave MJ for Christmas, a couple of years ago, and with apologies to both Alton Brown and Mesdames Topp and Howard, I give you

Four (and a quarter) Fruit Marmalade
(yields about 7 cups)

Ingredients:

1 large lemon
2 large limes
2 medium thin-skinned oranges
3 clementines
1 key lime (optional – because I had one)
4 cups water
1/4 tsp. baking soda
5 1/2 cups sugar

Preparation:

Wash all fruits thoroughly. Slice off the stem-end of each fruit, far enough to reveal the flesh.

Using a mandolin or hand slicer, slice each fruit as thinly as possible, until you get to the point where there’s more pith & rind than flesh. Do this over a bowl (like a flat soup bowl) to catch the fruit and juices. Take care to remove seeds as they appear. If you get any large slices, take a knife and quarter them. You should wind up with about 5 cups of fruit.

Place the shaved fruit in a large saucepan (4 quart capacity) along with the water, bring to a boil, and boil rapidly for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Add the baking soda, lower heat and boil gently for another 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. The baking soda will make the contents foam up rather suddenly, so don’t be alarmed.

Add the sugar, mix well, and raise the heat. Boil rapidly, stirring occasionally, for about 30 minutes, or until the mixture passes the “gel test.” (See notes, below)

Ladle into sterilized jars and process (boiling water canning method) for 5 minutes.

Notes:

Gel Test – Place a couple of small dishes in the freezer during the last phase of cooking. About 5 minutes before the end of the approximate cooking time, take the plate out of the freezer and put a small spoonful of the mixture on it. Immediately return the plate to the freezer for 2 minutes. Remove the pot of food from the heat during the test time. At the end of 2 minutes, take the plate out of the freezer, and with the tip of the spoon, push the mixture on the plate. If it’s thick and “wrinkles”, you’re good to go! Move on to the processing stage. If it runs, return the food to the heat and boil for another 2 minutes and test again.

When slicing the clementines (you could probably substitute tangerines), about 3/4 of the way down, the skin will loosen and pull away. At that point, don’t worry about the skin, just dig out the remaining flesh and go on to the next thing.

Isn’t she a beauty?

Oh, and the “quarter fruit”? My poor little Key Lime shrublet had just one little fruit on it and it was ripe and ready to go. I had no clue what to do with one key lime (they’re about the size of a walnut), so I decided to add it to the mix. I don’t believe it necessarily added much of anything, so don’t knock yourself out trying to find one just for this.

You guys, this worked out so well, I can’t begin to tell you. Using the mandoline shaved loads of time off of the prep process. No pun intended. The result was fine, even shreds which allowed the sweet liquid to permeate every cell, and no bitterness.

Okay, I’m hooked! Can’t wait to find out what’s in store for February!