Literally. MJ called me at work at noon yesterday to tell me that our house was robbed. Shit! He was gone for 2 hours, and when he returned, a back window had been broken out.

The SOB’s got our flat screen TV, my freakin’ brand new laptop, my iPod, and most of my jewelry – including MJ’s grandmother’s wedding set (that I only wear for special occasions), his great-aunt’s deco diamond ring, and I think the old gold Star of David that my father gave my mother before they got married. engraved with her maiden name initials. That’s just the short list.

I think we’re going to live with the hurricane shutters closed until we can figure out what to do. Probably replace all the windows on the back half of the house with hurricane/impact glass, like we did on the front half, several years ago. And mow the lawn. Again.

The detectives pointed to the bag of dried herbage sitting out on the counter and told us that under the circumstances, they would ignore it, since it was obviously for personal use and we could probably use it right about then. “It’s catnip.” “Uh huh.” “No, really.” “Ha ha ha!”

JJ is fine and never left the house. I’d seriously like to know what she was doing during this little episode. Considering the scars she’s left on us, our friends and family, I’ll bet the assholes left without a scratch. She only hurts the ones she loves.

**P.S. Yes, we have insurance. Ironically, it is State Farm, who will be dropping us in a few months anyway, because we live in Florida and therefore might have to make a hurricane claim, someday. But that’s not the point. For one thing, my mother’s gonna kill me – just on general principle.