Everybody recovered from the 4th of July? Yes? Good! Totally time for a contest!

I’ve been using the catchphrase “Everybody Gets Jam!” for about 7 months now. It started out as a private joke between me and the hubs around Christmastime, when we were trying to figure out what to gift people for the holidays. And even though I’m kinda stuck with it for awhile on a bajillion business cards, t-shirts, market bags, and the like, I think it’s time to freshen things up a bit.

A contest is definitely in order: You get to come up with the next great Freakin’ Flamingo tagline. The winner will receive a Freakin’ Flamingo mug (suitable for coffee, tea, or disguising your fave beverage):

PLUS a heavy-duty market bag: PLUS a jar of any Freakin’ Flamingo product (jam, marmalade, or BBQ sauce) your little heart desires. Check the website to see what’s available.

Your prizes will bear the “Everybody Gets Jam!” line, because, well, I paid for them already. But, your winning motto may appear on my new market banner, on future versions of my business cards, and on all future promotional materials.

The only rules are: Your entry should be original, short, funky, and pithy (kinda like me), and fit on one line. It should be G (or marginally PG) rated. And, most importantly, it should make me laugh. Simple, huh?

Just submit your entry* in the comments on this post, and make sure it’s linked to a good e-mail address, so I can contact you. And, I’m going to open this up to anyone in the U.S. and Canada. Shipping, of course, is on me.

Deadline for entries is Monday, July 11, 2011, so get those creative minds cracking! I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

**UPDATE** The first Freakin’ Flamingo Newsletter will go out on Wednesday, July 13th! That’s the first place the winner will get to see the new tagline in action – sign up for the mailing list now! Please? http://eepurl.com/eEPrk

**UPDATE 2** We have a wiener! Um, a winner! The winning motto is: “Tickle Your Tastebuds Pink!” submitted by Lettergirl. She will receive all of the aforementioned prizes in addition to immortality! At least until I get bored again. Thanks for playing, everyone!

*All entries become the property of Freakin’ Flamingo, LLC and may be used in advertising and promotional materials of every sort, in print and online. By entering this contest, you confirm that your entry is original to you, that you have the right to publish and release said entry, and that you release the contents of your entry to be used by Freakin’ Flamingo, LLC in any manner at its discretion. Compensation for the use of the winning entry is limited to the prizes listed in this post.

Random.org has spoken, and the winner of the Microplane Specialty Cut Resistant Glove from CSN Stores and cookware.com, is (drum roll, please!):

Number 29 – Di! She said…

“Cool giveaway! I don’t have too many problems when I’m using knives. What I really need the glove for is when I’m grating cheese! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accidentally grated some part of my hand…”

Congratulations, Di! And may you never serve faux pimento cheese ever again! Okay, wait. That was kind of gross. Well, you know what I mean…

Thanks for playing, everyone!

I was sitting on one of the bar stools at my counter a few days ago, checking my e-mail, and was surprised to have gotten a note from CSN Stores, asking if I’d like to host a giveaway of one of their products! CSN Stores is one of the largest internet retailers in the world, with over 200 internet stores selling nearly everything from home furnishings, toys and games for kids, outdoor furnishings (including a huge selection of bird feeders!), and my favorite, of course, cookware.com.

So I started thinking about what I might like to give you, and I kept thinking back to Twitter conversations I’ve had recently, in which I was surprised at how many of you are cutting yourselves in the kitchen! I thought: “What should everyone who prepares a meal have as standard equipment in the kitchen?” The answer: a cut glove! I bought one for myself about a year ago, and I can’t tell you how much more confidence wearing it gives me when handling those sharp knives and slicers.

Not just any cut glove – a Microplane Specialty Cut Resistant Glove! After all, who knows more about sharp edges than Microplane? I use my glove all the time – on my right hand when I use my mandoline, other kitchen slicers, and my box grater, and on my left hand, holding the food I’m chopping. While you still have to take care when using any sharp blade, the glove offers extra protection from those accidental contacts, and gives everyone a little extra confidence. Here are some of the specs:

• Specially engineered cut resistant fibers
• Lightweight, breathable, and stretchable
• One size fits most hands
• Fits either hand
• Made in USA

I have one, MJ has one, and now I want you to have one! Here’s how to enter:

Between now and 12:01 A.M., Eastern time, on Friday, February 12th (2010, duh!) just leave a comment on this post, telling me why you need a Microplane Cut Resistant Glove. Um, okay, you can leave out the explicit, gory details. Really.

Want extra chances to win? Tweet (or Re-Tweet) about this giveaway on Twitter, come back and leave another comment with the URL of your tweet. All comment and tweet entries must be on this post. You can do this as many times as you like!

Just make sure that you leave a good e-mail address at which I can contact you. Anyone in the U.S. and Canada can play!

On Friday, February 12th, I’ll count up the entries, use Random.org to choose a winner, and will announce the winner here and on Twitter! So, pay attention – if I can’t reach you to get a street address to send you your glove by 12:01 a.m. Monday, February 15th, I’ll choose another winner. Okay?

You don’t have to be a “foodie” to want to protect yourself from accidents in the kitchen. If you prepare food for yourself or your family, a cut resistant glove should be as standard as a can opener!

Can’t wait to read your stories and tweets – Ready, Get Set, GO!

Shameless Plug: I have entered the Ile de France 2009 Spring Recipe Contest and I need your votes! Please visit the Ile de France website and rate my entries:

Brunch Brie Strata by Renee (okay, they wrote Rennee):

and Spring Brie Mini-Sub by Renee (it really irks me to have to type “Rennee” – it’s unnatural).

Here’s the link: http://www.iledefrancecheese.com/blog/

Voting is points-based (rating 1-5), with the top 3 point totals, winning. The contest runs all through the month of May, so vote early and often! I would love to Walk away with some cheese!

I’d give you the individual page links, but they keep moving. Dammit. Anyway, there are only 39 entries and these are 2 of them.

I’d also like you to vote for my partner in crime, or cheese in this case, Miz Shoes. Her recipe is titled “Chicken Chevre by Lynne”. She was the one who was originally approached to participate in this contest, and, well, my competitive cooking nature possessed me, and well, here we are…

I will flesh out this post tonight – I might even make it coherent – and will add photos…. provided I don’t get caught doing this right now and get my ass fired!

Okay, I’ve kept this promise. And they haven’t fired me. Yet.

Anyway, please go vote!