Hah! The “Clean Coal Carolers” are no more, boys and girls! After two whole days of wrath and ridicule, the ACCCE has sent the freaky little lumps of coal “home for the holidays”. Heeheehee!

Guess they couldn’t take the heat. Heat. Coal. Get it? God – these people cave so easily. Cave. Coal. Get it? Come on, people! Get with the program! Special link in this space for the best related wordplay submitted in the Comments by Sunday, midnight!

Celebrate good times, woohoo!

Ya know, I would think that after eight years of the Bush Administration, there would be precious little left out there that could make my jaw drop, but I was wrong.

First, the governor of the State of Illinois plays “Let’s Make A Deal” with President-Elect Obama’s (I still love the sound of that!) now-vacant Senate seat. Delusional moron.

Now, there’s this abomination from the newly amalgamated American Coalition for Clean Coal Energy. A euphemism if I’ve ever heard one. When I first heard of this, I swear I thought it was a bad “Saturday Night Live” video. Let’s get one thing straight: There is no such thing as “clean coal”. The technology to burn coal for energy in a “clean” fashion does not exist. Yet. Maybe someday. But not today. In the meantime, the carbon monoxide emitted from burning coal as an energy source in this country equals the output of every car and truck on the road today, and is one of the chief contributors to greenhouse gases and global warming.

You’re saying to yourselves: Get to the point already. Fine. The ACCCE, on its website, has posted a cutesy series of bastardized Christmas carols sung by – are you ready? – animated (and freakishly scary-looking) lumps of coal. I kid you not. I know this sounds like an oxymoron, but even though I’m Jewish, I love Christmas music. Go figure. Anyway, they’ve taken some of the most beloved Christmas carols of all time, and turned them into pro-coal commercials. Like “Jingle Bells”. “Frosty the Snowman (Coalman)”. “O Come All Ye Faithful.” I wish I could post the videos themselves without sending you to the website, but I can’t. Currently, there are five. Yesterday, there were six. They’ve removed “Silent Night”. Probably after my girl, Rachel Maddow, popped off about it last night on her MSNBC show. (I would have Keith Olbermann’s baby and Rachel Maddow is my new girl crush.)

So curl up with a tall (spiked) eggnog and listen to some cheery “holiday” music. Go ahead. Be appalled.

So, where’s Bill O’Reilly?