Everybody recovered from the 4th of July? Yes? Good! Totally time for a contest!

I’ve been using the catchphrase “Everybody Gets Jam!” for about 7 months now. It started out as a private joke between me and the hubs around Christmastime, when we were trying to figure out what to gift people for the holidays. And even though I’m kinda stuck with it for awhile on a bajillion business cards, t-shirts, market bags, and the like, I think it’s time to freshen things up a bit.

A contest is definitely in order: You get to come up with the next great Freakin’ Flamingo tagline. The winner will receive a Freakin’ Flamingo mug (suitable for coffee, tea, or disguising your fave beverage):

PLUS a heavy-duty market bag: PLUS a jar of any Freakin’ Flamingo product (jam, marmalade, or BBQ sauce) your little heart desires. Check the website to see what’s available.

Your prizes will bear the “Everybody Gets Jam!” line, because, well, I paid for them already. But, your winning motto may appear on my new market banner, on future versions of my business cards, and on all future promotional materials.

The only rules are: Your entry should be original, short, funky, and pithy (kinda like me), and fit on one line. It should be G (or marginally PG) rated. And, most importantly, it should make me laugh. Simple, huh?

Just submit your entry* in the comments on this post, and make sure it’s linked to a good e-mail address, so I can contact you. And, I’m going to open this up to anyone in the U.S. and Canada. Shipping, of course, is on me.

Deadline for entries is Monday, July 11, 2011, so get those creative minds cracking! I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

**UPDATE** The first Freakin’ Flamingo Newsletter will go out on Wednesday, July 13th! That’s the first place the winner will get to see the new tagline in action – sign up for the mailing list now! Please? http://eepurl.com/eEPrk

**UPDATE 2** We have a wiener! Um, a winner! The winning motto is: “Tickle Your Tastebuds Pink!” submitted by Lettergirl. She will receive all of the aforementioned prizes in addition to immortality! At least until I get bored again. Thanks for playing, everyone!

*All entries become the property of Freakin’ Flamingo, LLC and may be used in advertising and promotional materials of every sort, in print and online. By entering this contest, you confirm that your entry is original to you, that you have the right to publish and release said entry, and that you release the contents of your entry to be used by Freakin’ Flamingo, LLC in any manner at its discretion. Compensation for the use of the winning entry is limited to the prizes listed in this post.

This has been one hell of a summer. I can’t really talk about most of it until after next week, but I feel a little like the puck in a game of air hockey. And I almost didn’t get this post up at all.

In one way, this month’s Can Jam wasn’t a surprise, and in other ways it kind of snuck up on me altogether. I should have known Tomatoes would come up sometime this summer. After all, most of the rest of you are swimming – nay, drowning – in them right now. Sure enough, that’s what Julia at What Julia Ate, chose for this month’s theme. And for the umpteenth time, our tomato season is actually in the winter/early spring times, so I searched. And searched. And searched. While I did eventually score some local tomatoes, that was a bit of a miracle. Someone in the southern end of the county must have planted a “heatwave” type. And they’re not bad at all.

But I probably should have been canning tomato stuff earlier and saved it for now. So, in a bit of a mad scramble, and using some of my own home-canned Mango Ginger Jam as an accent flavor, I made barbecue sauce. Because I’m gonna love me some barbecue this winter while the rest of you are freezing your patooties off! Hehehe.

I based my recipe on the Summer Sizzle Barbecue Sauce recipe in The Complete Book of Year-Round Small Batch Preserving by Topp and Howard, omitting the tomato sauce, adding the jam and using freshly ground chipotle pepper and chipotle pepper hot sauce. I also used the delicious new vegan, gluten-free Worcestershire sauce produced by my friend Jim at Oxford Falls.

Mango Chipotle BBQ Sauce
(makes about 5 half-pints)

Ingredients:

2 Tbs. canola oil
2 medium onions, chopped
2 large cloves garlic, minced
3 cups tomatoes, peeled and chopped
1/2 cup dry red wine (I used a Malbec, because, after all, the Argentinians know their barbecue!)
3 Tbs. honey
1 Tbs. Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbs. cider vinegar
1 tsp. dry mustard
1 tsp. peppercorns (whole)
1 tsp. chipotle pepper powder (or less, to taste)
1-1/2 tsp. kosher salt
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup mango ginger jam
2 Tbs. brown sugar
1/2 tsp. chipotle pepper hot sauce

Preparation:

Heat oil in a medium non-reactive saucepan, over medium-high heat. Add the onions and garlic, sautée until soft, about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Add the tomatoes, wine, honey, Worcestershire sauce, vinegar, mustard, peppercorns, ground chili pepper, and salt. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and boil gently, uncovered, for about 30 minutes or until thickened.

Remove the pot from the heat and carefully run the contents through the blender until thoroughly smooth. Or do what I did, which is use my stick blender right there in the pot and not dirty another appliance.

Return the sauce to the pot (if you had to use the blender). Add the water, jam, brown sugar and hot sauce, combine thoroughly and bring to a boil.

Ladle the hot mixture into hot jars (no need to sterilize them this time, just make sure they’re good and hot), leaving 1/2 inch headspace. Cover with new lids, tighten the screw rings finger-tight, and process in a boiling water canner for 15 minutes. Wait 24 hours and test your seals before labeling and storing.

Tasting it right out of the pot, this stuff’s got that hit of spicy, smoky chipotle peppers, and is not terribly sweet, despite the honey, jam and brown sugar. It’s gonna be awesome on chicken and beef, and even on veggie burgers. Can’t wait to get my new grill!

Yesterday was Memorial Day here in the U.S. A day during which we remember all the servicemen and servicewomen who gave their lives to preserve our freedom. Political considerations aside, how many of us would volunteer to put ourselves in harm’s way, to go wherever and whenever we’re ordered? I say right up front that I do not support our military’s presence in Iraq (Afghanistan is another thing altogether, and those poor bastards have gotten screwed miserably since Bush decided to use 9/11 to as an excuse to finish what his daddy couldn’t. And I do use the term “finish”, loosely). And how do we celebrate our heroes? Why, barbecue, of course!

Anyhoo, while Summer doesn’t technically begin until June, Memorial Day is sort of the de facto unofficial start of Summer. And even though it ALWAYS rains on Memorial Day – and yesterday was no exception – we are as American as the rest of the country when it comes to Summer holidays, no matter what, we grill. Even though here in South Florida we generally do our barbecuing in the winter, when we have our best weather. Shoot – it’s already broken 90 degrees about a dozen times already, down here. But I digress.

I took a package of chicken breasts (on the bone) out of the freezer to thaw and thought about what I wanted to do. I must have watched four straight hours of Food Network’s grilling marathon, looking for inspiration.

I went into the kitchen, grabbed a ziploc bag and just started throwing in stuff that, to my warped and confused brain, seemed like maybe it should, oughta go together. Maybe. Well, as things turned out, MJ really, really, really loved it. To the point where he insisted that I drop my cob and write down what I did, before I forgot and he’d never see it again (a frequent occurrence around here over the years when I just start throwing things into a pot or a pan because I need to use something up). So I did. And then I thought I’d share it with you. I take no responsibility if it doesn’t turn out for you. I have no guaranty that it will turn out again for me. But what the hell. Think about it as an exercise in thinking way out of the box – or the bottle, for that matter.

RJ’s BBQ Chicken – May ’08

Kraft Char Grill BBQ Sauce approx 1/2 cup (I think any plain, pedestrian bbq sauce would do)
Kosher Salt — a heavy pinch
Tabasco Chipotle Sauce — 6 or 7 good shakes (because I love Tabasco Chipotle Sauce and use it in a gazillion things)
Worcestershire sauce – 4 or 5 good shakes
Hot Madras Curry Powder – approx. heaping tblsp (ok, you might need to visit the Indian grocery for this and the next ingredient)
Meat Masala Curry Powder – approx. heaping tblsp
Garlic Powder – approx. teaspoon
Black Pepper – approx. 1/2 teaspoon
Approx. 3 lbs. chicken breasts on the bone (this actually turned out to be 3 ginormous pieces), but you could use thighs, I would think, too.

Mix together in a ziploc bag, add chicken, zip bag and massage into chicken. Let sit while heating the grill and prepping everything else. Put on greased, hot grill, skin-side up, close top and turn grill down to medium. Grill approximately 35-40 minutes (depending on the thickness of the chicken pieces) without turning.
Even with all that spicing, it really wasn’t spicy at all. Seriously. Maybe just the tiniest tingle, but not hot at all.

Best advice? Do something weird every once in awhile. When your heart’s in it, you’d be surprised what works.

Additional (or should I say, Accidental) flavor notes: I haven’t had the chance to try one of the after-market “smoking” options available for grills like mine (small, round, no bells and whistles), yet, but I did lay several ears of corn (sans silk, husks intact) on the grill, as well as a foil pouch of fingerling potatoes, seasoned with a little kosher salt, black pepper, rosemary, and drizzled with grapeseed oil. Interestingly, I found that every element picked up some flavoring from the others: the chicken picked up some smoky sweetness from the charring corn husks, with the tiniest hint of rosemary; the corn picked up a rumor of rosemary; and the potatoes got some of the corn husk smoke. It was really cool the way everything complimented each other.

P.S. — No sooner did I get everything on the grill and closed the lid, than it began to rain.